Excerpts

My Weird School #11: Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! Chapter One Never Kiss Your Mom in Public My name is A.J. and I hate school. Do you know which is the worst day of the week? If you ask me, it's Monday. Because Monday is the start of five days of school in a row. That's horrible! Tuesday and Wednesday aren't so great either. Thursday is a pretty good day, because then we only have one day of school left before the weekend. Friday is really good, because that's when the school week is over. But the best day of the week is Saturday. I play peewee football on Saturday, and we don't have school again for two whole days. Too bad it was Monday morning. I was waiting in front of my house for the school bus with my mom. "You be a good boy, A.J.," my mom told me. "I will." "Don't get into any trouble, A.J.," my mom told me. "I won't." "Remember to raise your hand when you want to talk, A.J.," my mom told me. "Don't shoot straw wrappers at the girls, A.J.," my mom told me. "I won't." My mom told me about a million hundred other things I wasn't allowed to do until I saw the yellow school bus coming around the corner. "Mom, I promise not to have any fun at all," I said. "Bye!" The bus pulled up. Mrs. Kormel, the bus driver, pushed a button and made the little stop sign pop out the side of the bus so the cars on the street will stop. We call it the magic stop sign. That thing is cool. "Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." No way I was going to kiss my mother in front of all the kids staring out the bus window. That's the first rule of being a kid. Don't ever kiss your mother when other kids are watching! "Uh, I don't want to be late for school, Mom." "Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." "That's not gonna happen, Mom." "Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." "Over my dead body, Mom." "Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." "I will if you give me a hundred dollars, Mom," I said. My mother tried to wrap her arms around me, but I know how to get away from tacklers. When Mom went to grab me, I threw her a head fake, spun away, and gave her a few of my best fancy footwork moves that I learned playing peewee football. She didn't have a chance! I sidestepped her and ran on the bus before she could hug or kiss me. Ha-ha-ha! My mom can't play football for beans. Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her! My Weird School #11: Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! . Copyright © by Dan Gutman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold. Excerpted from Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! by Dan Gutman All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.